Apparently I have decided to post something each night before the IB Exam starts. I've been thinking of writing randomly, scribbling words and scattering emotions on what I feel, thought and face during these last days of being in KMB, and most importantly before taking the exam.
It feels like the time flies fast, seriously. You'll never expect that life is too short a date before you actually realize that you need to make another shift or transition or migration or whatsoever. Simply put, you just need to go on.
The same cliche things happened to me, and I believe that it happens to almost everyone.
In the verge of the final week of IRP session, and you come to your self-actualization that you haven't really master every single things that you should know will definitely scared you to death. You just can't keep calm and take IB, facing situation like this. With Chemistry HL keeps making you feeling insecure, nonetheless for the other 5 subjects, I highly doubt my preparations to sit for the final exam. Previous days, I accidentally being told of my predicted grades which was kept really intact by the teachers. It was high. All 7 for SL subjects and all 6 for HL subjects. Response? Uncertainties. With excellent judgement and realistic evaluation, I marked down my target to 37/38, depending on my Chemistry, plus hoping for at least a B for both the TOK and EE to get a bonus point. Argghh...dreams!
Lack motivations? It's a surplus to be exact.
I have quite an abundant sources of motivation. I've got my parents and family as my backbone to endure this journey up till the end, helpful teachers in the time where emergency strikes, fellow peers with multiple personalities that flourish my life, and for sure the Most Almighty where I turn and seek for mercy. I've got my placement secured. Not one but three different offers from 2 different countries. Alhamdulillah, since I am very grateful of that. See, enough incentives to work harder for my IB exam, isn't it so?
Yet, as a normal human being, with neither superpowers or extraordinary spatial abilities, we tend to rely on our wits and perceptions. In a way, those two things really influence your confidence level though. Mine is barely able to breathe now.
However, things must carry on, be it wanted or unwanted. Provided that miracles could happen, I just want to skip this part of my life. But everything happened for reasons. Up to 7 days more, supposedly a week more before the first paper of Economics SL. Can I do it? Time decides.
After all, I always keep the faith. Allah is everywhere and He hears the tears longing for Him.
"So no soul knows what is hidden for them of that which will refresh the eyes;
a reward for what they did"
InsyaAllah. Bittaufiq wannajah :)